The student news site of Biddeford High School in Biddeford, Maine

The Roar

Dealing with Death

Megan Friel, Editor in Chief

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






They say death comes in three’s.

To accept death is to both celebrate life and mourn loss. In the past month, I’ve dealt with a tremendous amount of loss. With both my  grandmother and close family friend Guy dying, it’s hard to cope with seeing my uncle Chuck soon on his way out after being moved to hospice care. With the disparity of these losses weighing heavy on my shoulders, I’ve been forced to watch my family members suffer through these losses while trying to bear the grief myself.

It’s interesting to see the way we deal with loss. Some don’t eat. Some don’t leave their beds. As for my mother’s family, we all struggle in our own ways.. I will never forget the bags under my grandmother’s eyes after long nights of care taking for my sick uncle, or the way her hands shake when she remembers the night that a small heart attack turned into having to say goodbye to one of her best friends as she also prepares to say goodbye to her last living brother.

My dad’s side is different. After hearing the news of my grandmother’s passing, I focused on my dad. Every time we saw his side of the family, we had a good time. The only tears I had were tears of laughter, and that was how my dad and his family lived. Happily. Jokingly. This would be the first time I’d ever see my dad cry, and that itself brought me to tears.

But upon arriving at my aunt’s house, the atmosphere was the same as always. Laughter filled the room as we told stories of my grandmother and all the ways she changed our lives. We pored through photos of her and cherished the memories we made. My dad said that in the week leading up to her passing, my dad and his siblings sat with my grandmother and did what they’ve always done. Laughed. Joked. Reminisced. My dad said that he thinks she hung on so long because she didn’t want to miss out on their fun.

To say that it stayed this way all week is a lie. I watched my dad cry for the first time as they closed his mother’s casket. This is okay. Sadness is a given when it comes to losing someone so close to you. I’ll always miss my family. I’ve learned it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to mourn. The reality is, this is normal. But this isn’t what death is about.

This is how I deal with death. For me, death is not about the few months of her life that my grandmother was sick, or the few years that Guy or Chuck have struggled. It’s about appreciating the lives they led. Death is about celebrating all that they’ve accomplished and all they’ve done to make their mark on the world.

To deal with death at such a young age, especially so much, is never easy. But I choose to celebrate. I choose to remember the times that I laughed with the people I loved. I choose to focus on the happy lives they led and all they’ve left behind. I choose to remember their legacies.

 

Print Friendly

Leave a Comment

The Roar intends for this area to be used to foster healthy, thought-provoking discussion. Comments are expected to adhere to our standards and to be respectful and constructive. As such, we do not permit the use of profanity, foul language, personal attacks, or the use of language that might be interpreted as libelous. Comments are reviewed and must be approved by a moderator to ensure that they meet these standards. The Roar does not allow anonymous comments, and The Roar requires a valid email address. The email address will not be displayed but will be used to confirm your comments.

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Dealing with Death

    Features

    The importance of representation

  • Dealing with Death

    Showcase

    Jason Mulvey, a senior of BHS that isn’t afraid to follow his dreams

  • Dealing with Death

    Showcase

    Senior Trey Burnham, an active outdoorsman and competitive athlete.

  • Dealing with Death

    News

    Cheer season ends with an unexpected twist

  • Dealing with Death

    News

    AP tests: worth it or not?

  • Dealing with Death

    Features

    After the election

  • Dealing with Death

    Features

    Debate to States

  • Dealing with Death

    News

    The march that’s making history

  • Dealing with Death

    Arts and Entertainment

    Hamilton is not throwing away its shot

  • Dealing with Death

    News

    Teens with anxiety break their silence

The student news site of Biddeford High School in Biddeford, Maine
Dealing with Death