Relationships in the life of a teenager
May 5, 2016
Filed under Millenial Manifesto - Meg Friel
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High school relationships are either a hit or a miss.
By this I mean that high school relationships either end in a partner or friend for life, or a fiery explosion of emotions and dismay.
In high school, there’s a fine line that defines a “relationship”. It’s hard to determine who exactly is a couple when the definitions vary. Each new blossoming relationship I’ve seen always comes with its challenges, as does any relationship. Jealous friends, strict parents, unfaithful partners all prove challenging to these new relationships.
But the one biggest challenge I’ve seen is the loss of self when new relationships begin. I see friends changing and morphing themselves, their personalities to fit the quota of a “good girlfriend,” or a “good boyfriend.” I’ve even fallen victim to this myself.
After having just finished a 10 month relationship, I see the way that this relationship changed me. I lost touch with friends I thought would always be by my side, even after neglecting them for nights with my boyfriend. I felt a constant need to comply to my boyfriend, giving up relationships with my friends and continuously distancing farther and farther away from myself. I was constantly giving more and more to my relationship and taking away more and more from every other part of my life. I had fallen victim to an unhealthy relationship.
The definition of a good boyfriend/girlfriend has become twisted and dismayed. The constant worry of your partner not replying to a text, the need to hang out every free second, the damaging paranoia that your partner is cheating – these bring about new personalities in people I’ve known forever, thinking they would never change. Unhealthy high school relationships have become all-consuming to young teenagers who should be enjoying their youth.
However, this isn’t the case for every high school relationship. While no relationship is perfect, there are couples I see who are extremely happy – those who have been together for years, those who only support and love each other, and those who will most likely stay together throughout college. These relationships are the ones best kept throughout high school. These are the ones that last.
This column is not one to say I disapprove of high school relationships. I give all my love and support to couples in high school who are genuinely, truly happy. I wish them nothing but the best. This column is to say that I disapprove of the newfound expectations of a relationship in high school that I’ve seen change so many of my friends, and even myself. When in a high school relationship, it’s important not to lose yourself amongst the chaos.