Fresh face: “Androgyny” velour liquid lipstick


Michael Tenney, Staff Writer

unnamedI love finding things that allow me to burst through a rainbow and scream “I’m gay!” at the top of my lungs and skip down the
street with an attitude that says, “I’m
still better than you.” Recently, I have started to dabble in my love for makeup. I’ve always liked makeup– except I am really bad at it. So, that left me to spending countless dollars on eyeliners that I can’t figure out how to apply or a foundation that is two shades too dark. I’ve improved on the foundation. I’m still horrible at eyeliner.

But, this product isn’t either of those things. This product is a Velour Liquid Lipstick by Jeffree Star Cosmetics in the shade “Androgyny.” I purchased this product on the official Jeffree Star Cosmetics website for 18 dollars. Now, Jeffree Star is someone I’ve known since my “emo” days in middle school. Jeffree was sort of a segway to the drag world for me. Just in the past couple of weeks, I’ve started to appreciate his artistic skill once again.

This shade of lipstick is a bit on the darker side. It’s in the plum family of lipsticks. However, it’s better than plum. It’s the equivalent to me. The lipstick is liquid-to-matte. So, it goes on as a liquid and dries up like grape in the sunlight–in a good way.

When I applied this product for the first time, I cried because I finally found a lipstick that resembled the natural born queen of perfection I symbolize to the world. It made me feel at home, at peace, and at the point in my life where I reached full happiness. The amazing color made me want to paint everything in the “Androgyny” shade. I wanted to live and breathe in Androgyny. I wanted to apply it to Donald Trump’s personality in hopes of making him somewhat of a decent human being. I wanted to tell everyone about it.

The application is simple–just like any other lipstick. But, the results are what changes the way you’ll see the world. You’ll see it in a brighter, better way than before. You’ll realize that I am better than you, but you’ll be okay with it. It’s that good. The only problem (that’s about as small as the one flaw that I contain–I’m too kind sometimes) with this product is that it can dry out lips just a tad. Not anything too horrid, but just enough to notice.

I would recommend this lipstick to anyone and everyone. It’s fabulous. The color looks good on anyone. Wear it to the beach, to your wedding, to your mom’s wedding, for a casual or formal event, to any and all of my award shows because with this much talent, I’m bound to win something. Wear it as often as you want. I don’t wear it too frequently-because I don’t really wear makeup often-but when I do wear it, I’m that much better than most of the people in the world. If not most people, all the people in the world at this very moment.

Overall, I give this product a million golden stars. I feel as if the world has come together in a beautiful symphony to talk about how wonderful this shade is. If the gross bullies from someplace irrelevant were to wear this shade, they’d be less boring and find better things to do. This lipstick may not be a cure for narcissism, but it’s still fierce, fresh, easy to apply, and a perfect representation of who I am–everything you want to be.