Fresh Face: “American Crew” Hair Paste

Michael Tenney, Staff Writer

unnamedIn the events that happened this month – a Trump presidency, riots across the country, a Hillary loss – I’ve needed something
to keep my spirits up. With a Trump win keeping the country at a very big low (except the people that voted for him – congratulations to you) I’ll be telling my fans about the “American Crew Fiber” hair paste. If I can keep my hair up, hopefully, my spirits will be too
in a time of stupidity.

This $18 product came from my local grocery store. I shop there a lot (shout out to Hannaford). In the past, I’ve used things that are a waste of my money. A lot of gels that I’ve tried made my hair look greasy and disgusting. I don’t want to look like the President-Elects personality come to life. I have much higher standards for my hair (granted, he doesn’t seem to have any for his). I saw this product and thought, ‘woah! That price is way expensive, bro!’ However, I figured if the product was expensive (particularly for only three ounces of product), then it must be worth my while.

When it comes to testing out hair products, I don’t really try out much. I focus a lot more on skincare (as my biggest fans would know). I want to brighten up the world with my shining personality and my amazing skin. So, purchasing this product was a big step for me. I know this product is a bit expensive, but I believe that it is definitely worth it.

When I apply this product, I don’t use that much at a time. I take a finger or two and get a small amount of the paste and drag it through my beautiful blond hair. I love being blonde, except a certain disgusting person (his name rhymes with shlump), made it not as amazing as it once was.

Once I put the product in my hair, I form each strand how I want it. It’s kind of like building blocks, you have to put each hair in a specific place to hold up the rest of the hairs. Once I do that, I sit, wait, watch Gilmore Girls, text my friends about how awesome I am, and voila! My hair is ready to take on the world.

The only complaint I have about his product is the waiting. I take showers in the morning, and when I get out of the shower, my hair is wet. This product can not be applied when your hair is wet (even the smallest amount of wetness will make it stop from working its magic). There have been several days when I am in a rush, and I can’t get out the door quick enough because my hair isn’t dry yet. It gets a bit annoying; however, I fully believe that that small disappointing variable within this product is not nearly as disappointing as the results of this past election. Therefore, I think this product is worth my time, and I will keep on using it.

Having this product in my “Get Ready” drawer makes it easier for me when I’m, well, getting ready. It makes it nicer to have a hair product that makes my hair look not greasy. It’s better than the other products I’ve tried that only hold up my hair for 20 minutes. It’s as fantastic as the world could have been if Schlump lost the election. Oh well, we can’t all have what we want.