I thought, for my very last column, I would write about something that could be taught to many generations to come, and one day may find itself in your children’s history books. I wanted to write about something that really mattered and something that has meaning. I wanted to explore writing a column about a product that is better than most things in the world.
For my last column, I am reviewing my high school experience. When I started high school, I envisioned myself being the Rose McGowan in the movie “Jawbreaker.” I would walk down the hallway in slow motion, with everyone parting ways as I walked by to give me room. While that didn’t necessarily happen, I knew everyone was intimidated by my confident step and determination to rule the school.
I would generalize my high school experience as something quite iconic. As I am an icon and know my big footprint in this little world of Biddeford will last for years, I would say it’s a different experience than someone like Regina George had.
We all come to high school to learn. For me, learning was definitely the most important part of high school. In all seriousness, I love learning. Some classes are just boring. I think the most important learning tool I gained over the past four years is how to measure shapes in geometry. I’m just really excited that I learned how to find the circumference of whatever shape and just go on my merry way.
I feel a very pivotal moment for my high school career was the climax to the sequel of my freshmen year; sophomore year. I decided to run for Class President (again) for my junior year. The air was filled with people wishing they were flawless as I am, but weren’t. They filled this empty void with negative comments and group chats. It was so cute. I ended up going on stage, so nervous. I told my class to shut up. Well, I didn’t say “shut up.” I leaned forward and said, “I’ll wait.” I waited, they became quiet. They didn’t like that very much.
Even though most people really disliked me after that, I don’t care. I’m an icon. That moment was so iconic. I am no little Betty that is going to go under the radar of high school. I am a Regina George, a Courtney Rose, and a Cher from Clueless. I had to make my experience in high school something to talk about. Even though I didn’t plan to tell my class to be quiet, it created a legend; me.
Every high school movie has the jock. My jock phase came my very first year when I was in indoor track. I was terrible. I did the minimum amount of events in order to be considered on the team. The first day of practice I tried doing hurdles. I literally could not do them. I was incapable of bringing my leg up that high. The coach ended up pointing me out and I had to keep practicing while everyone was already done. This moment was really embarrassing. However, it taught me the valuable lesson of never try to jump over a piece of wood in the air.
I think every high school movie has a moment of self-realization with a heartwarming scene that makes you empathize with the leader. This moment for me happened at my junior year Homecoming. I arrived to the event in style, wearing an expensive wig and dress. I was in drag and gorgeous. When I arrived, Mrs. Sheltra came up to me saying my dress may be too short and needed to check if it fit the dress code. I immediately felt worried. She was apparently joking, and said,
“Michael, if you’re going to wear a short dress, you have to own it.”
To Mrs. Sheltra, that is still the best advice I have ever received. I will own my short dresses, thank you.
I would give my high school experience two thumbs up. It was cute. It was clever. I’ll probably talk about it when I’m older and have several designer handbags in my closet. I cherish the moments I had with people that I like. I laugh at the moments that I had with people I disliked. High school is a very interesting experience to have, and I find that very… interesting.